I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
