It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
