Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
