I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My liver just had a heart attack.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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