Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
