Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
