Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
