there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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