I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
