Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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