Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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