Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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