I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I need moral support for this bender
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
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