you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
