Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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