PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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