Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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