Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
