No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
