so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
