Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
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