Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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