And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
