I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
