Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
