just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
