Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(386): View more from Florida

tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN

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(386): tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN http://tfl.nu/xbeq

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(562): View more from California

I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.

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(562): I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible. http://tfl.nu/uxem

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(360): View more from Washington

And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.

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(360): And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that. http://tfl.nu/r3iu

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(734): View more from Michigan

He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.

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(734): He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine. http://tfl.nu/5uk3

Replies (12) Good night (3224) Bad night (978)
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(561): View more from Florida

Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.

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(561): Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN. http://tfl.nu/5n63

Replies (12) Good night (2597) Bad night (1124)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.

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(218): It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter. http://tfl.nu/rje4

Replies (20) Good night (796) Bad night (3808)
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(240): View more from Maryland

Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.

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(240): Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood. http://tfl.nu/tqto

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(520): View more from Arizona

Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.

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(520): Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk. http://tfl.nu/speg

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(303): View more from Colorado

My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.

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(303): My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/0900

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.

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(843): I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job. http://tfl.nu/6er2

Replies (1) Good night (1040) Bad night (362)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome

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(803): Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome http://tfl.nu/ce0s

Replies (5) Good night (714) Bad night (264)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives

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(508): Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives http://tfl.nu/526e

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(803): View more from South Carolina

It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?

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(803): It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you? http://tfl.nu/tv5z

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(775): View more from Nevada

Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!

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(775): Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii! http://tfl.nu/sf3q

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(732): View more from New Jersey

we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.

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(732): we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now. http://tfl.nu/37ul

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