Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
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I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
