Texts From Last Night

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  (208): View more from Idaho

  He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me

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  (208): He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me http://tfl.nu/1pq8
  Replies (2) Good night (1112) Bad night (617)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.

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  (336): I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices. http://tfl.nu/qbzj
  Replies (5) Good night (1449) Bad night (593)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.

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  (609): WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW. http://tfl.nu/kof5
  Replies (32) Good night (6752) Bad night (875)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.

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  (240): Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS. http://tfl.nu/2m4m
  Replies (128) Good night (27956) Bad night (2176)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  hes a good boy he deserves a good blow

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  (515): hes a good boy he deserves a good blow http://tfl.nu/pix3
  Replies (92) Good night (7879) Bad night (1218)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.

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  (717): and on the fourth day, god made foam parties. http://tfl.nu/nmea
  Replies (21) Good night (5088) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.

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  (440): well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them. http://tfl.nu/xftj
  Replies (6) Good night (3446) Bad night (955)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...

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  (908): At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ... http://tfl.nu/ikiv
  Replies (10) Good night (1249) Bad night (1480)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.

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  (248): My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work. http://tfl.nu/6xpg
  Replies (8) Good night (610) Bad night (1176)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.

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  (778): He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him. http://tfl.nu/e3t2
  Replies (5) Good night (1998) Bad night (1029)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.

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  (760): Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty. http://tfl.nu/d48e
  Replies (14) Good night (1106) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.

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  (336): Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings. http://tfl.nu/e4bs
  Replies (6) Good night (1027) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.

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  (209): I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good. http://tfl.nu/spab
  Replies (1) Good night (1231) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.

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  (520): Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds. http://tfl.nu/3cpt
  Replies (6) Good night (1347) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch

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  (+61): She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch http://tfl.nu/x1qz
  Replies (1) Good night (595) Bad night (447)

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