An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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