Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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