what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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