Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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