Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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