Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
