when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
