Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Sext me about skeletons
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
