Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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