Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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