Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
me + whiskey = a bad person
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize