Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
