rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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