how can u be prego again
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
