First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
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In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
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So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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