there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
