u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
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Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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