We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
It was confusing and full of hummus
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
