He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
