i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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