well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
