it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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