She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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