trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
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Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
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Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
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