so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
