have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
