We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
