actually, I'm a sock model
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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