Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
