He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
