Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
