I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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