In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize